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Celebrate the Small Victories
For people with ADHD, nothing is easy. Everything requires extra effort. Having to put so much effort into everything you do is completely exhausting. Often, their amount of effort still "isn't enough. Their parents and teachers say to "Try harder." For example, I remember many times in science class when I would get a D or F on a test or quiz. My teacher had looked at my grades in other classes, and saw mostly B's, an A or two, and a C, so she assumed I wasn't putting effort into her class. She would pull me aside after class and tell me to focus on improving my grade in science. I would tell her that I was really trying my hardest, but she just didn't understand. She told me that I could do better. In America, kids have been told their entire lives that they CAN be the best. That they CAN get an A. That they can do ANYTHING. What I'm saying sounds strange, because its so contrary to our culture. But for ADHD kids, its true. Sometimes a D IS the best I can do. It's not because I'm stupid, or because I'm lazy, but because my brain just doesn't understand the metric system, or velocity, etc. no matter how many times you explain it to me.

School is hard for us, but so is something more important to us: making friends. I never understood being friends with someone with ADHD is different than being friends with anyone else until I became friends with a girl who has ADHD. I love her so much, and I really enjoy spending time with her, but she talks non-stop, interrupts me without realizing it, is sometimes a little too honest, and usually forgets to text me back. Now I understand how MY friends feel.

So when your child/student/friend with ADHD accomplishes something, celebrate it, no matter how small it is. For someone without ADHD, making a friend is easy and normal. For someone with ADHD, its a victory. They won a battle with ADHD. When they pass a test in a suubject they especially struggle in, even if they only get a C or D, they've won a battle. Something many people don't understand is that it really is a constant uphill battle. And often, ADHD beats me to the ground. But sometimes I win. Those are the moments when we need you to  get over the fact that we aren't as "good" as your other friends, children, or students. We need you to see us as an individual, not the dumbest kid in our class or another child in the crowd. We are unique, and we want you to see it. Looking at us the same way you look at people without ADHD would be like trying to see beautiful colors in a black and white picture. So take the "normal filter" off your camera lens, and let yourself see us the way we are.


Driving with ADHD
Driving is something every teenager has to learn to do, and its never easy. Many parents are concerned with their teens driving, because of all the risks. For ADHD teens, especially non-medicated ADHD teens, driving is even more risky. They are 2-4 times more likely to have a an accident than peers without ADHD.* Teens with ADHD may be impulsive, risk-taking, immature in judgment, and thrill seeking. Does this mean teens with ADHD should not drive? No. ADHD is a disorder, not a disability. ADHD teens will eventually have to live and work on their own in the real world, and will most likely not have special accommodations. It may be wise to have ADHD teens wait a little longer to drive than is legally required. While they have their permit, experiment to find out what helps them pay attention while on the road. Try setting a timer for every few minutes, listening to music, white noise, talking, having it completely silent, etc. Be EXTREMELY patient while they are learning to drive, because driving safely is extremely difficult for them. You may want to practice commentary driving (verbally stating your surroundings). Have them say "stop sign ahead", "car pulling out on the right", "stale green light ahead", "speed limit 35", etc. as they are driving. Over time, it will become a habit and they will no longer have to do it aloud. Good luck!!

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